Hibernating.

21 Jan 2012

January blues.

A post of mine about Hugo Schwyzer got reblogged by a number of feminist blogs. I intend to address the issues raised in those posts, but not right away because I have things outside of the Internet to do. (I’m posting this lest my lack of posting be taken as a sign of meek withdrawal from the Internet for being called deluded, mindless, sexist, or a puppet, among other things. Discomfited yes, scared off—no.)

My hiatus from Tumblr posting may be a while. I’m juggling full-time student status, various college transfer application deadlines, student government, my campus’ feminist club leadership, social duties (Chinese New Year), and a mean case of what I’m hoping are the temporary blues. I’m choosing to let this lay, in favor of more pressing issues in my life.

15 Jan 2012

As a feminist who is a friend of Hugo Schwyzer’s, I’m very disheartened to see that there are self-identified feminists who would take such a reactionary stance against Hugo without looking at his words, actions, roles, and past in context. It’s a disappointing moment in history when we as a movement attempt to expel our best members based on quotes and accusations carefully culled to be as misleading and inflammatory as possible, simply because someone doesn’t fit the mold of being the perfect feminist with an always do-gooder past and the right demographic background.

In the past thirteen years, Hugo has gone above and beyond to make amends and create an accountability process for himself. I’ve seen the work he does to individually help others, and to be a safe space for students at my college. He uses his past experiences and current resources to help, not harm.

Isn’t one of the first few lessons of feminism realizing that what a feminist “looks like” can be wildly different from our expectations?

27 Dec 2011

On Hugo Schwyzer

golden-notebook:

unknowablewoman:

stfusexists:

dr—grumbles:

Out of all the men that have ever abused/raped me, many of them were addicted to one thing or another. It didn’t mean a damn thing when it came down to it. A lot of people in my life have been addicted to things and even more have had mental illnesses. However, none of those other people addicted to things have ever hurt me. I cannot separate the abusers in my life by looking at if a person is addicted to something or not. Addicted people have hurt me, addicted people have never touched me.

Hugo Schwyzer is an abusive person. He’s also an addict. The two do not, in my experience beget one another and they are not mutually exclusive. They shouldn’t be treated as either. He is two things. He is also a man that is rapidly becoming the center of feminist discourse, something I have a major problem with. I’m tired of men getting to say half-concocted, elementary level versions of  ideas that women have been saying for decades upon decades to no avail, but they seem revolutionary when they come out of men’s mouths. I’m tired of men getting to tell me about the way my sex and gender are viewed and abused. I know. You don’t have to tell me. Let me tell you how it feels to have your lover try to murder you, because I don’t think you know Hugo.

Excellent and thought-provoking commentary, presented without additional comment.

Hugo is gross. I didn’t even know who he was until recently, and then everyone on my Twitter feed started lavishing him with praise. Ugh. STOP. IT.

Had no idea about any of this; I’ve found his writing very admirable but if this is true it is obviously masking a lot of sickness. Will have to read up on this.

As someone who has Hugo Schwyzer as a professor, adviser, collaborator, and friend, I agree that he has made more than a few inexcusable mistakes in his past. He’s always been open about his flaws and his past, particularly in the hopes that other people can learn something from them, whether it’s about infidelity, unethical sexual behavior, boundaries, addiction, or other. He’s 100% committed to living his feminism and being accountable now, but if you still want to judge him for his past crimes, that’s up to you. (You may also want to read his post about the event that a lot of people have decided to call him a murderer for.)

In my interactions with him and through my struggles, he’s been nothing but appropriate and supportive—but not overbearing, and definitely not one word of mansplaining. As a 20 year-old female student and feminist, I’m willing to give my support to and vouch for Hugo, and hopefully that adds credence to the good person he is now.

14 Nov 2011

“Fashion is one of the very few forms of expression in which women have more freedom than men. And I don’t think it’s an accident that it’s typically seen as shallow, trivial, and vain. It is the height of irony that women are valued for our looks, encouraged to make ourselves beautiful and ornamental… and are then derided as shallow and vain for doing so. And it’s a subtle but definite form of sexism to take one of the few forms of expression where women have more freedom, and treat it as a form of expression that’s inherently superficial and trivial. Like it or not, fashion and style are primarily a women’s art form. And I think it gets treated as trivial because women get treated as trivial.”

6 Jun 2011


So let’s practice. Instead of distancing ourselves from those among us who are targeted as sluts, lest we get caught in the crossfire, let’s stand together today and say, if you use the word slut as a weapon against one of us, you’re using it against all of us. If you shame one of us, you will receive shame from all of us. If you rape one of us, you will have to answer to all of us.
If you’ve ever been called a slut, stand up now and say together — I am a slut. If you love someone who’s been called a slut — stand up now and say, I am a slut. If you’ve ever been afraid of being called a slut, stand up now and say, I am a slut. If you’ve been blamed for violence that someone else did to you, stand up now and say, I am a slut. If you’re here to demand a world in which what we do with our bodies is nobody’s business, and we can all live our lives and pursue our pleasures free of shame, blame and free, stand up and say it with me: I am a slut. I am a slut. I am a slut.

—Jaclyn Friedman, at SlutWalk Boston.

So let’s practice. Instead of distancing ourselves from those among us who are targeted as sluts, lest we get caught in the crossfire, let’s stand together today and say, if you use the word slut as a weapon against one of us, you’re using it against all of us. If you shame one of us, you will receive shame from all of us. If you rape one of us, you will have to answer to all of us.

If you’ve ever been called a slut, stand up now and say together — I am a slut. If you love someone who’s been called a slut — stand up now and say, I am a slut. If you’ve ever been afraid of being called a slut, stand up now and say, I am a slut. If you’ve been blamed for violence that someone else did to you, stand up now and say, I am a slut. If you’re here to demand a world in which what we do with our bodies is nobody’s business, and we can all live our lives and pursue our pleasures free of shame, blame and free, stand up and say it with me: I am a slut. I am a slut. I am a slut.

—Jaclyn Friedman, at SlutWalk Boston.

8 Feb 2011

thejuthikakid:

dr-grumbles:

badparsiqueer:

TALK ABOUT ABORTION AND ABORTION-SHAMING, READ AND WATCH WITH CARE

Sonya “The Drama” Boom Renee, What Women Deserve

Culturally-diversified bi-racial girl,
with a small diamond nose-ring
and a pretty smile
poses beside the words: “Women deserve better”.

And I almost let her non-threatening grin begin to
infiltrate my psyche-
till I read the unlikely small-print at the bottom of the ad.
‘Sponsored by the US Secretariate for Pro Life Activities
and the Knights of Columbus’
on a bus, in a city with a population of 563,000.

Four teenage mothers on the bus with me.
One latino woman with three children under three,
and no signs of a daddy.
One sixteen year old black girl,
standing in twenty two degree weather
with only a sweater,
and a bookbag,
and a bassinet, with an infant that ain’t even four weeks yet-

Tell me that yes: Women do deserve better.

Women deserve better
than public transportation rhetoric
from the same people who won’t give that teenage mother
a ride to the next transit.
Won’t let you talk to their kids about safer sex,
and never had to listen as the door slams
behind the man
who adamantly says “that SHIT ain’t his”-
leaving her to wonder how she’ll raise this kid.

Women deserve better than the three hundred dollars
TANF and AFDC will provide that family of three.
Or the six dollar an hour job at KFC
with no benefits for her new baby-
or the college degree she’ll never see,
because you can’t have infants at the university.

Women deserve better
than lip-service paid for by politicians
who have no alternatives to abortion.
Though I’m sure right now
one of their seventeen year old daughters
is sitting in a clinic lobby, sobbing quietly
and anonymously,
praying parents don’t find out-
Or is waiting for mom to pick her up because
research shows that out-of-wedlock childbirth
don’t look good on political polls.
And Sarah ain’t having that.

Women deserve better
than backward governmental policies
that don’t want to pay for welfare for kids,
or healthcare for kids,
or childcare for kids.
Don’t want to pay living wages to working mothers.
Don’t want to make men who only want to be
last night’s lovers
responsible for the semen they lay.
Just like [they] don’t want to pay for shit,
but want to control the woman who’s having it.

Acting outraged at abortion,
when I’m outraged that they want us to believe
that they believe
“Women deserve better”.

The Vatican won’t prosecute pedophile priests,
but I decide I’m not ready for motherhood
and it’s condemnation for me.
These are the same people
who won’t support national condom distribution
to prevent teenage pregnancy—

But women deserve better.

Women deserve better than back-alley surgeries
that leave our wombs barren and empty.
Deserve better than organizations bearing the name
of land-stealing, racist, rapists
funding million dollar campaigns on subway trains
with no money to give these women—
While balding, middle-aged white men
tell us what to do with our bodies,
while they wage wars and kill other people’s babies.

So maybe,
Women deserve better than propaganda and lies
to get into office.
Propaganda and lies
to get into panties,
to get out of court,
to get out of paying child-support.

Get the fuck out of our decisions
and give us back our VOICE.

Women do deserve better.

Women deserve choice.

 I will never not reblog this.

<3

8 Feb 2011

“I know older men in comedy who can barely feed and clean themselves, and they still work. The women, though, they’re all “crazy.” I have a suspicion - and hear me out, because this is a rough one - that the definition of “crazy” in show business is a woman who keeps talking even after no one wants to fuck her anymore.”
— Tina Fey in this week’s New Yorker. (via djjazzystef)

(Source: fatmanatee)

31 Jan 2011

jgh-2:

rockerrepro:

Sometimes we come across women (or men) who are so vehemently against the idea of feminism, it really starts aggravating us. But we must remember one of the prime directives of feminism, which is to educate those who have bought into the stereotype media has foisted upon our movement. These people…

I largely agree with these pointers with the exception that provable facts don’t dissuade people from their firmly held opinions. If that were the case, no one would argue creationism should be taught as fact in schools. Research has shown that when confronted with factual evidence contradicting an emotionally felt opinion, people will rarely change their opinion.

My rule on how to talk to an anti-feminist is this: don’t. Disengage. I meet far more people who are on the fence or simply misinformed about what feminism is than people who are firmly against feminism. My time is better spent on reaching the ambivalent, and it’s better for my health, too.

Those rules—being polite and calm, citing reliable sources—are rules for talking to any stranger walking up to your, say, feminist club’s table. Sticking to them makes it easier to disengage when you’ve identified someone as an anti.

26 Jan 2011

“Coming into a feminist conversation with, “Have you considered that sometimes women acquire free drinks at bars?” is like walking into graduate school during Philosophy finals and saying, “Have you considered that the color blue that I see may not be the color blue that you see?”

Imagine you are the guy who just walked into that Philosophy class and laid that shit down. Imagine the class full of students who have worked very hard and committed themselves and sacrificed to be here, students who have spent several years of their lives learning about this subject. Imagine now their feelings when you go to the head of the classroom with a smirk on your face and demand the professor give you an A for effort. Imagine now that they think you are a douchebag asshole, because they do, and because you are. You are a douchebag asshole because you are obviously so self-centered, arrogant, and completely ignorant of the world around you, that you thought you could walk into a high-level course with no background and no work and say something profoundly simplistic and totally unrelated and also everybody should congratulate you for having done this thing, so brave, so provocative.

Okay, so that might be a little more abstract of an example. How about something more people are likely familiar with? Imagine you work very hard at your job, and yet you have a boss who is a fucking moron. Your boss knows nothing about the work the company does. Your boss doesn’t even know the names of the products. All your boss knows how to do, apparently, is walk around with a very smug look on their face, occasionally saying something like, “Have we considered… advertising our product?” and waiting for the advertising department to praise such a profound and remarkable idea. And if you do not praise your boss, your boss gets angry. Your boss tells you that you are not a team player. Your boss tells you that they got where they are by hard work and ingenuity and hustle, and you could show a little bit more of that, don’t you think? Also, have you considered using this new internet thing he’s hearing so much about? That’s why he gets paid the big bucks, you know, ideas like that.

This is what you do when you walk into a feminist conversation and ask whether or not we have considered that sometimes men get turned down by girls they like and that hurts their feelings.

You are not asking us a real question. You are simply illustrating, for all to see, your own ignorance. You are saying, “I have not considered the implications of the question I have just asked. I have not taken the time nor effort nor commitment to sit down and ask myself this question. Instead, I have come into your philosophy classroom/office/feminist blog and shit out my question with a smirk, because I believe that my two seconds of thought are worth more than your long-term analysis, because I believe I am worth more.””

The above is a great excerpt from a post at Fugitivus a couple years ago. The post is longish, and definitely worth a read, but this particular quote stood out.

You can probably imagine the stupid ass shit that doesn’t get out of The Border House moderation queue. ”HAVE YOU CONSIDERED THAT MEN ARE OBJECTIFIED IN VIDEOGAMES, TOO???!!!11” No, dumbass. We haven’t. Because it’s not like we spend a lot of time thinking about sexism and its effects on people in the context of videogames and have a blog about it, or anything like that!

(via brinstar)

If you aren’t following dr-grumbles or reading Fugitivus you should be.

(via damekatharsis)

Read this

(via malefeminist)

Click through and read the whole thing because it’s really good.